Let's Samba!

Hey! People in America care about soccer again!

Well, only for tomorrow. Then people will be care about sports more popular than soccer until the World Cup.

So it's the United States vs. Brazil in the FIFA Confederations Cup Final. A quick FAQ of the who, what and why:

1) What is the Confederations Cup and why should we care?

It's a tournament that brings together the winners of various regions of the world. US = North America, or the crappiest world region outside of Oceania (that means the Fiji Islands, New Zealand and other countries you'll never go to) vs. Brazil, the winners of the South American region, arguably the best one in the world. The United States won the Gold Cup and Brazil won Copa America -- so that's why both countries are here.

2) How has the good ole USA done against Brazil?

Awesome! Or the direct opposite of awesome. Which would be not awesome. The States has won one game against Brazil in 1998 and has been treated like a new prison in-mate in every other game. They already lost 3-nil in the opening stages of the tournament and really, it's Brazil. You know, the country that has won the World Cup more than any other country. If it weren't for the fact that Brazil beat the beejezus out of Italy and Egypt spent more time with hookers than preparing to play the USA, the Stars and Stripes would be homeward bound.

3) Why are you writing about soccer?

Because I can. And, as much crap as the sport gets in this country, it can provide dramma rarely found in sports. Now, I have to admit, I gave the US as much of a chance to beat Spain as I do dating and impregnating Eliza Dusku. But it was a terrific story. A underdog American side beating the No. 1-ranked footballing side in the world. How freaking cool is that?

For the States to beat Brazil after beating Spain would be ginormous. Two of the very best in the world? Losing? To AMERICA? That would be massive.

Prediction: Brazil 2, US 0.